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Old 11-20-2012, 05:45 AM   #1
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Default High Fantasy Football Season 1

The Quilt City OGREs are running an online fantasy football season that is actually fantasy based. You can sign up to participate here or on the OGREs facebook group.

Here is a link to roster of playable characters for the draft.. It is being modified for larger future seasons.

Current rules:
1. Basic Head to Head scoring
2. Nerd Naming Required (I.e. Gondor Giants, Menzoberranzan Maulers, etc)
3. Draftable Characters will have TBA appropriate kinks (I.e. Gandalf won't participate in a pass play)
4. Beer
5. This is hilarious
6. If only one team name per classic franchise (I.e. one after Wars, one Trek, one LotR, one D&D) then that team gets first draft for a character from that franchise.

League Commissioner: Hooper

Owner: Lacey Wilson
Name: The Big Damn Browncoats
Coach: Hoban Washburne

Owner: Jacob Hayes
Name: Asgardian Aberrations
Coach: Heimdall the Alhoon

Owner: Marcus Derrick
Name: Requiem Spartans
Coach: Cortana

Owner: Justin Burgin
Name: Enterprise Explorers
Coach: Q

Owner: Steve Johnson
Name: Lankhmar Lycanthropes

Owner: Richard Smith
Name: Central City Coalition
Coach: Guy Gardner


Owner: Daniel Tharp
Name: City 17 Fighting Headcrabs

Owner: Graham Griffin
Name: Mann Co. Hippie Punchers
Coach: The Administrator

Owner: Hooper
Name: Planet Zeist Phoenixes
Coach: General Katana

Owner: Kenneth Gilbert
Name: The Alderaan MIA
Coach: Princess Leia Organa Solo

Owner: Elijah Williams
Name: The Angel Grove Automatons
Coach: Farkas "Bulk" Bulkmeier

Owner: Walter Pfeifer-Thompson
Name: Guilder Bay Shrieking Eels
Coach: Lieutenant Columbo

Last edited by Hooper; 02-02-2013 at 09:29 PM..
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Old 11-25-2012, 12:02 AM   #2
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Default Season Schedule


Draft: November 26th - December 1st, 2012

Prep Week: December 2nd - 8th, 2012
-Get your roster positions in during this week

Week 1 Heats: December 9th, 2012
a) The Big Damn Browncoats vs. The Guilder Bay Shrieking Eels (Result: BDB 33 - GBSE 38)
b) The Asgardian Aberrations vs. The Angel Grove Automatons (Result: AA 22 - AGA 14)
c) The Requiem Spartans vs. The Alderaan MIA (Result: RS 41 - MIA 42)
d) The Enterprise Explorers vs. The Planet Zeist Phoenixes (Result: EE 34 - PZP 37)
e) The Lankmar Lycanthropes vs. Mann Co. Hippie Punchers (Result: LL 32 - MCHP 25)
f) The Central City Coalition vs. City 17 Fighting Headcrabs (Result: CCC 147 - C17FH 140)

Week 2 Heats: December 16th, 2012
a) The Angel Grove Automatons vs. The Big Damn Browncoats (Result: AGA 19 - BDB 35)
b) The Guilder Bay Shrieking Eels vs. The Asgardian Aberrations (Result: GBSE 39 - AA 24)
c) The Alderaan MIA vs. The Enterprise Explorers (Result: MIA 36 - EE 102)
d) The Planet Zeist Phoenixes vs. The Requiem Spartans (Result: PZP 81 - RS 64)
e) The Mann Co. Hippie Punchers vs. The Central City Coalition (Result: MCHP 79 - CCC 25)
f) City 17 Fighting Headcrabs vs. The Lankmar Lycantropes (Result: C17FH 76 - LL 41)

Week 3 Conference Qualifiers: December 23rd, 2012
Gygax Conference
a) The Asgardian Aberrations vs. The Big Damn Browncoats (Result: AA 37 - BDB 31)
b) The Enterprise Explorers vs. The Requiem Spartans (Result: EE 39 - RS 23)
c) The Central City Coalition vs. The Lankmar Lycanthropes (Result: CCC 87 - LL 103)

Arneson Conference
a) City 17 Fighting Headcrabs vs. The Mann Co. Hippie Punchers (Result: C17FH 2 - MCHP 0)
b) The Planet Zeist Phoenixes vs. The Alderaan MIA (Result: 33 - MIA 26)
c) The Angel Grove Automatons vs. The Guilder Bay Shrieking Eels (Result: AGA 44 - GBSE 41)

Week 4 Conference Champions: December 30th, 2012
Gygax Conference
a) The Asgardian Aberrations vs. The Enterprise Explorers (Result: AA 62 - EE 59)
b) The Asgardian Aberrations vs The Lankmar Lycanthropes (Result: AA 95 - LL 89)

Arneson Conference
a) The City 17 Fighting Headcrabs vs. The Planet Zeist Phoenixes (Result: C17FHC 57 - PZP 64)
b) The Planet Zeist Phoenixes vs The Angel Grove Automatons (Result: PZP 103 - AGA 95)

Week 5: Oggie Bowl: January 6th, 2013
a) The Asgardian Aberrations vs The Planet Zeist Phoenixes

1. Oggie Bowl MVP
2. League MVP:
3. Owner of the Year
4. Play of the Year
5. Best League Name
6. Best League Logo

Last edited by Hooper; 12-29-2012 at 04:44 AM..
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Old 11-25-2012, 09:57 AM   #3
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Default Team Rosters

1 Quarterback (QB)
2 Running Backs (RB)
2 Wide Receivers (WR)
1 Flex RB/WR/TEs (RB/WR/TE)
1 Tight End (TE)
1 Placekicker (K)
1 Team Defense/Special Teams (DST)
6 Bench (BN)

The Big Damn Browncoats
Draft Position - 1
Pre-Draft Pick: Not Eligible
1st Round Pick: Ellen Ripley
2nd Round Pick: Neil deGrasse Tyson
3rd Round Pick: Mr. Fantastic
4th Round Pick: The Hulk
5th Round Pick: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
6th Round Pick: Rey Mysterio, Jr.
7th Round Pick: Jason Voorhees
8th Round Pick: Cthulhu
9th Round Pick: Jonathan Moxon
10th Round Pick: Jon Snow
11th Round Pick: Scruffy the Janitor
12th Round Pick: Eddard Stark
13th Round Pick: Jaime Lannister
14th Round Pick: Rick Grimes
15th Round Pick: Pappa Smurf

The Asgardian Aberrations
Draft Position - 8
Pre-Draft Pick: Jesus Christ
1st Round Pick: Gorilla Grodd
2nd Round Pick: Aragorn
3rd Round Pick: Not Eligible
4th Round Pick: Vash the Stampede
5th Round Pick: Data
6th Round Pick: Aslan
7th Round Pick: Morpheus
8th Round Pick: Megaman
9th Round Pick: Wolverine
10th Round Pick: Tails
11th Round Pick: Emperor Palpatine
12th Round Pick: Charles Barkley
13th Round Pick: Storm
14th Round Pick: Ricky Bobby
15th Round Pick: Luigi

The Requiem Spartans
Draft Position - 7
Pre-Draft Pick: Master Chief
1st Round Pick: Green Arrow
2nd Round Pick: Predator
3rd Round Pick: Not Eligible
4th Round Pick: Drizzt Do'Urden
5th Round Pick: Legolas
6th Round Pick: The Goonies
7th Round Pick: Ash Williams
8th Round Pick: Michelangelo
9th Round Pick: Daniel LaRusso
10th Round Pick: Godzilla
11th Round Pick: Ron Jeremy
12th Round Pick: Seto Kaiba
13th Round Pick: Jessi Slaughter
14th Round Pick: Rocksteady
15th Round Pick: Sarah Palin

The Enterprise Explorers
Draft Position - 9
Pre-Draft Pick: Captain Jean-Luc Picard
1st Round Pick: John McClane
2nd Round Pick: Aquaman
3rd Round Pick: Not Eligible
4th Round Pick: Captain America
5th Round Pick: Raphael
6th Round Pick: Harry Potter
7th Round Pick: Sam Winchester
8th Round Pick: Chris Benoit
9th Round Pick: Spawn
10th Round Pick: Indiana Jones
11th Round Pick: Walter Sobchak
12th Round Pick: The Doctor
13th Round Pick: Hong Kong Phooey
14th Round Pick: Tyler Durden
15th Round Pick: Bebop

The Lankmar Lycanthropes
Draft Position - 4
Pre-Draft Pick: Not Eligible
1st Round Pick: Conan the Barbarian
2nd Round Pick: Mr. Wizard
3rd Round Pick: The Terminator
4th Round Pick: Bender
5th Round Pick: Animal
6th Round Pick: Robin Hood
7th Round Pick: Daredevil
8th Round Pick: Inspector Gadget
9th Round Pick: Goku
10th Round Pick: Worf
11th Round Pick: Andrew "Ender" Wiggin
12th Round Pick: Donatello
13th Round Pick: Cookie Monster
14th Round Pick: Peter Gibbons
15th Round Pick: Wendy Harris

The Central City Coalition
Draft Position - 12
Pre-Draft Pick: The Flash
1st Round Pick: Green Lantern
2nd Round Pick: Superman
3rd Round Pick: Not Eligible
4th Round Pick: Sinestro
5th Round Pick: Black Adam
6th Round Pick: Bizarro
7th Round Pick: Black Manta
8th Round Pick: Joker
9th Round Pick: Deadpool
10th Round Pick: Iron Man
11th Round Pick: James T. Kirk
12th Round Pick: Leonardo
13th Round Pick: Peter Venkman
14th Round Pick: Wonder Woman
15th Round Pick: Chucky

City 17 Fighting Headcrabs
Draft Position - 2
Pre-Draft Pick: Not Eligible
1st Round Pick: Batman
2nd Round Pick: Spy
3rd Round Pick: Demoman
4th Round Pick: Gandalf
5th Round Pick: Neo
6th Round Pick: Medic
7th Round Pick: Jaina Proudmoore
8th Round Pick: Thrall
9th Round Pick: John Carter
10th Round Pick: Sasha Grey
11th Round Pick: Pyro
12th Round Pick: James Bond
13th Round Pick: King Arthur
14th Round Pick: Hulk Hogan
15th Round Pick: Marvin White

The Mann Co. Hippie Punchers
Draft Position - 5
Pre-Draft Pick: Engineer
1st Round Pick: Sniper
2nd Round Pick: Scout
3rd Round Pick: Not Eligible
4th Round Pick: Heavy
5th Round Pick: Pinhead
6th Round Pick: Soldier
7th Round Pick: Throttle
8th Round Pick: Michael Myers
9th Round Pick: Strahd von Zarovich
10th Round Pick: Jules Winnfield
11th Round Pick: ALF
12th Round Pick: Splinter
13th Round Pick: The lifeless corpse of Benjamin Harrison
14th Round Pick: Raistlin Majere
15th Round Pick: Marv

The Planet Zeist Phoenixes
Draft Position - 10
Pre-Draft Pick: Duncan MacLeod
1st Round Pick: Shredder
2nd Round Pick: Spider-Man
3rd Round Pick: Not Eligible
4th Round Pick: Lindsay Lohan
5th Round Pick: Madea
6th Round Pick: Hellboy
7th Round Pick: Nightcrawler
8th Round Pick: Jason Bourne
9th Round Pick: Rocky (3 Ninjas, not Rocky Balboa)
10th Round Pick: Dean Winchester
11th Round Pick: The Comedian
12th Round Pick: Connor MacLeod
13th Round Pick: Zatch
14th Round Pick: Optimus Prime
15th Round Pick: Richard B. Riddick

The Aleraan MIA
Draft Position - 11
Pre-Draft Pick: Luke Skywalker
1st Round Pick: Obi-Wan Kenobi
2nd Round Pick: Boba Fett
3rd Round Pick: Not Eligible
4th Round Pick: Dig Dug
5th Round Pick: Sonic
6th Round Pick: Solomon Grundy
7th Round Pick: Captain Planet
8th Round Pick: Darth Vader
9th Round Pick: Beavis
10th Round Pick: Bowser
11th Round Pick: Blade
12th Round Pick: Robocop
13th Round Pick: Scooby Doo
14th Round Pick: Doc Brown
15th Round Pick: Mulder

The Angel Grove Automatons
Draft Position - 6
Pre-Draft Pick: Tommy Oliver (White Power Ranger)
1st Round Pick: Kamen Rider Kabuto
2nd Round Pick: Stan Lee
3rd Round Pick: Not Eligible
4th Round Pick: Freddy Krueger
5th Round Pick: Japanese Spider-Man
6th Round Pick: Alien (Xenomorph)
7th Round Pick: Ripster
8th Round Pick: Rainbow Dash
9th Round Pick: Kamen Rider Ichigo
10th Round Pick: Dr. Sam Beckett
11th Round Pick: Ash Ketchum
12th Round Pick: Commander Shepard
13th Round Pick: Megatron
14th Round Pick: The Ultimate Warrior
15th Round Pick: Mitt Romney

The Guilder Bay Shrieking Eels
Draft Position - 3
Pre-Draft Pick: Not Eligible
1st Round Pick: Bean
2nd Round Pick: Gimli
3rd Round Pick: Frodo
4th Round Pick: Lancer (Cu Chulainn)
5th Round Pick: Marty McFly
6th Round Pick: Thor
7th Round Pick: Char Aznable
8th Round Pick: Mario
9th Round Pick: Jem
10th Round Pick: Rita Repulsa
11th Round Pick: Daggett Doofus Beaver
12th Round Pick: Kimberly (Pink Power Ranger)
13th Round Pick: Charles
14th Round Pick: Ebony "Enoby" Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way
15th Round Pick: Tyrion Lannister

Last edited by Hooper; 12-02-2012 at 04:25 PM..
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Old 11-25-2012, 10:44 AM   #4
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1st Round:
Lacey - Ellen Ripley
Daniel - Batman
Walter - Bean
Steve - Conan the Barbarian
Graham - Sniper
Elijah - Kamen Rider Kabuto
Marcus - Green Arrow
Hayes - Gorilla Grodd
Justin - John McClane
Hooper - Shredder
Kenny - Obi-Wan Kenobi
Richard - Green Lantern

2nd Round
Richard- Superman
Kenny - Boba Fett
Hooper - Spider-Man
Justin - Aquaman
Hayes - Aragorn
Marcus - Predator
Elijah - Stan Lee
Graham - Scout
Steve - Mr. Wizard
Walter - Gimli
Daniel - Spy
Lacey - Neil deGrasse Tyson

3rd Round
(skips all who received a pre-draft pick)
Walter - Frodo
Steve - The Terminator
Lacey - Mr. Fantastic
Daniel - Demoman

4th Round
Lacey - The Hulk
Daniel - Gandalf
Walter - Lancer (Cu Chulainn)
Steve - Bender
Graham - Heavy
Elijah - Freddy Krueger
Marcus - Drizzt Do'Urden
Hayes - Vash the Stampede
Justin - Captain America
Hooper - Lindsay Lohan
Kenny - Dig Dug
Richard - Sinestro

5th Round
Richard - Black Adam
Kenny - Sonic
Hooper - Madea
Justin - Raphael
Hayes - Data
Marcus - Legolas
Elijah - Japanese Spider-Man
Graham - Pinhead
Steve - Animal
Walter - Marty McFly
Daniel - Neo
Lacey -Buffy the Vampire Slauyer

6th Round
Lacey - Rey Mysterio, Jr.
Daniel - Medic
Walter - Thor
Steve - Robin Hood
Graham - Soldier
Elijah - Alien (Xenomorph)
Marcus - The Goonies
Hayes - Aslan
Justin - Harry Potter
Hooper - Hellboy
Kenny - Solomon Grundy
Richard - Bizarro

7th Round
Richard- Black Manta
Kenny - Captain Planet
Hooper - Nightcrawler
Justin - Sam Winchester
Hayes - Morpheus
Marcus - Ash Williams
Elijah - Ripster
Graham - Throttle
Steve - Daredevil
Walter - Char Aznable
Daniel - Jaina Proudmoore
Lacey - Jason Voorhees

8th Round
Lacey - Cthulhu
Daniel - Thrall
Walter - Mario
Steve - Inspector Gadget
Graham - Michael Myers
Elijah - Rainbow Dash
Marcus - Michelangelo
Hayes - Megaman
Justin - Chris Benoit
Hooper - Jason Bourne
Kenny - Darth Vader
Richard - Joker

9th Round
Richard- Deadpool
Kenny - Beavis
Hooper - Rocky
Justin - Spawn
Hayes -Wolverine
Marcus - Daniel LaRusso
Elijah - Kamen Rider Ichigo
Graham - Strahd von Zarovich
Steve - Goku
Walter - Jem
Daniel - John Carter
Lacey - Jonathan Moxon

10th Round
Lacey - Jon Snow
Daniel - Sasha Grey
Walter - Rita Repulsa
Steve - Worf
Graham - Jules Winnfield
Elijah - Dr. Sam Beckett
Marcus - Godzilla
Hayes - Tails
Justin - Indiana jones
Hooper - Dean Winchester
Kenny - Bowser
Richard - Iron Man

11th Round
Richard - James T. Kirk
Kenny - Blade
Hooper - The Comedian
Justin - Walter Sobchak
Hayes - Emperor Palpatine
Marcus - Ron Jeremy
Elijah - Ash Ketchum
Graham - ALF
Steve - Andrew "Ender" Wiggin
Walter - Daggett Doofus Beaver
Daniel - Pyro
Lacey - Scruffy the Janitor

12th Round
Lacey - Eddard Stark
Daniel - James Bond
Walter - Kimberly (Pink Power Ranger)
Steve - Donatello
Graham - Splinter
Elijah - Commander Shepard
Marcus - Seto Kaiba
Hayes - Charles Barkley
Justin - The Doctor
Hooper - Connor MacLeod
Kenny - Robocop
Richard - Leonardo

13th Round
Richard - Peter Venkman
Kenny - Scooby Doo
Hooper - Zatch
Justin - Hong Kong Phooey
Hayes - Storm
Marcus - Jessi Slaughter
Elijah - Megatron
Graham - The lifeless corpse of Benjamin Harrison
Steve - Cookie Monster
Walter - Charles
Daniel - King Arthur
Lacey - Jaime Lannister

14th Round
Lacey - Rick Grimes
Daniel - Hulk Hogan
Walter - Ebony "Enoby" Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way
Steve - Peter Gibbons
Graham - Raistlin Majere
Elijah - The Ultimate Warrior
Marcus - Rocksteady
Hayes - Ricky Bobby
Justin - Tyler Durden
Hooper - Optimus Prime
Kenny - Doc Brown
Richard - Wonder Woman

15th Round
Richard - Chucky
Kenny - Mulder
Hooper - Richard B. Riddick
Justin - Bebop
Hayes - Luigi
Marcus - Sarah Palin
Elijah - Mitt Romney
Graham - Marv
Steve - Wendy Harris
Walter - Tyrion Lannister
Daniel - Marvin White
Lacey - Pappa Smurf

Last edited by Hooper; 11-30-2012 at 09:46 AM..
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Old 12-05-2012, 09:43 PM   #5
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Color coded roster: If i have a wrong pick or if anything is missing, let me know.
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Old 12-06-2012, 11:55 PM   #6
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Week 1 Heats take place December 9th. Results will be posted late that evening.


a) The Big Damn Browncoats vs. The Guilder Bay Shrieking Eels @ Serenity Valley Stadium
Coin Toss: Guilder Bay wins, will receive
Kickoff: Mox kicks for Browncoats. Jem catches at the 15. Is tackled by the Hulk at the 22.
1st Quarter Synopsis: Lancer consistently trys a passing game. However, Ned's tactics allow him to dictate the DST's maneuvers. The Eels fail to make 4th down twice. Browncoats manage a touchdown once via Buffy.
2nd Quarter Synopsis: Ned is injured and off the field. Jaimee Lannister takes the QB position when Cthulu's percentage chance fails. Buffy manages another touchdown, but the Eels also manage a touchdown via Frodo as well as a QB Shotgun touchdown with Lancer. Lancer manages to repeat with a conversion.
3rd Quarter Synopsis: Bean is injured and replaced by Thor. Thor's tactical advice aids Lancer in further domination. Frodo, Beaver, and McFly all are successful with their touchdowns. However, no conversion is successful. Lancer is sacked late in the round and injured by The Hulk. Thor moves to QB and Mario takes over F. The Browncoats manage one long-range successful pass play ending with a touchdown by Rey Mysterio, Jr. Mox also succeeds in a field goal during their last possession.
4th Quarter Synopsis: With the Eels starters injured, the Browncoats attempt a comeback. Mr. Fantastic manages two touchdowns this round, but Gimli blocks all extra point attempts due to his kink. This brings the score, with moments left, to 33-32 Browncoats. But their hopes are dashed when Thor manages a run play with the help of Mario's kink during their last possession resulting in a touchdown. The clock runs our on the Browncoats before they can rally back.

b) The Asgardian Aberrations vs. The Angel Grove Automatons @ The Gym & Juice Gymnasium
Coin Toss: Automatons win, will receive
Kickoff: Megaman kicks entire length of field. Ash catches but is immediately overran by Aragorn. Immediate Safety.
1st Quarter Synopsis: Jesus lands a pass to Charles Barkley who does a heroic run for what looks to be an immediate touchdown as well but is brought down by Krueger right at the endzone. Jesus is injured in the following blitz play but not before a handoff to Aslan for a touchdown. Data replaces Jesus. The try is successful.
2nd Quarter Synopsis: The Automatons repeatedly attempt to rally but are kept at bay by Gorilla Grodd who also manages two interceptions. However, Krueger injures Barkley (replaced by Ricky Bobby) early on and ruins Data's passing game. No points are scored this quarter.
3rd Quarter Synopsis: Ich kicksoff to Tails who manages to get near the 50. Data shows his tactical genius by using the false sense of permanent passing to switch to a run play to Aragorn for a TD. The try is successful. Rainbow Dash finally breaks past Gorilla Grodd for a Touchdown. Ultimate Warrior manages to slip past an angry Grodd who is busy injuring Rainbow Dash to secure a 2 pt try. Rainbow Dash is replaced by Megatron.
4th Quarter Synopsis: A battle of titans. Megatron manages a TD but the try fails, and Grodd manages to injure Ash Ketchum, The Ultimate Warrior, and the Xenomorph before being removed from play by the refs. Grodd is replaced by Wolverine. Sheppard, Lee, and Tommy Oliver step into play in the final minutes. Wolverine is removed from play after one game for injuring team mate Stan Lee and also stealing the ball though not a legal carrier. The team is fined a few yards. Japanese Spiderman replaced Wolverine. Jesus Christ returns to play leading to a touchdown performance by Aragorn again but the try is blocked. After the game ends, a total free for all fight breaks out.
RESULT: AA 22 - AGA 14

c) The Requiem Spartans vs. The Alderaan MIA @ The Graveyard Astrodome
Coin Toss: Spartans win, will receive.
Kickoff: Robocop kicks to Drizzt. Drizzt backpasses to Godzilla. Touchdown Spartans.
1st Quarter Synopsis: High scoring round. Sonic and Godzilla aid their teams greatly with their speed. Towards the end of the quarter, both are injured and replaced by Scooby Doo and Michelangelo respectively.
2nd Quarter Synopsis: Without the might of their runners, both teams attempt to move into a passing game. Both teams score just once, via Predator and Luke Skywalker. All trys fail.
3rd Quarter Synopsis: Finally finding a groove, the two sides seem to be caught in a stalemate with neither reaching a fourth down and the game staying around the RS 35 yard line the entire quarter. However, on the final fourth down of the quarter, the Spartans bring out Green Arrow who succeeds on a field goal from this spot.
4th Quarter Synopsis: The MIA start out strong with a touchdown and two point conversion giving a healthy lead, but a bad fumble and a safety by the Spartans close the gap slightly. This is followed immediately by a field goal due to their success with it last quarter which is also successful. The rally is brought to a halt however when neither team manages to score again before the clock runs out.

d) The Enterprise Explorers vs. The Planet Zeist Phoenixes @ The Memory Alpha Amphitheatre
Coin Toss: PZP wins, will kick
Kickoff: Lohan kicks entire length of field, Potter catches. Brought down by Duncan/Spidey on own 37.
1st Quarter Synopsis: Aquaman passes to Potter who laterals to McClane. McClane runs for first touchdown of game. Try fails. The rest of the quarter is scoreless and a stalemate increasingly close to the 50 until The Comedian manages to injure McClane and Aquaman but is also injured himself in the process. Hellboy replaces The Comedian while The Doctor takes over Aquaman's QB duties and Raphael replaces McClane. In the final seconds of the quarter, Connor connects with Spidey for a touchdown. Try succeeds.
2nd Quarter Synopsis: Before play, Sam Winchester and The Doctor exchange positions. Sam passes to Captain America who runs in for a touchdown followed by a successful two point conversion. Connor responds by connecting to Spidey and Jason Bourne repeatedly who can not be caught by the opposing team. However all his tries fail. In the final try, Picard angrily replaced Sobchak for defense and manages to seriously injure Spiderman and Bourne. They are replaced by Rocky Douglas and Nightcrawler while Dean Winchester takes over for Nightcrawler.
3rd Quarter Synopsis: With the running game of the Phoenixes no longer impossible, the Explorers rally a bit. Captain manages another touchdown but the following try fails. The score stays the same as the team battles around the EE 15 most of the quarter until Chris Benoit goes literally ape shit. Though he injures himself, he manages to succeed on an 85 yard touchdown and a two point conversion. He is replaced by Indiana Jones.
4th Quarter Synopsis: Trailing, Hellboy transforms and easily manages a touchdown and injures Sobchak. Hellboy is fatigued and replaced by Shredder, while Sobchak is replaced by Bebop. The following try fails. Sam and Jean-Luc manage a slow run play that results in a touchdown. On 3rd and 3, Dean and Shredder lose it. Dean drives through Hong Kong Phooey while Supershredder manages a touchdown. Lohan is too drunk to succeed on the kick, and time runs out while the Explorers have possesion.
RESULT: EE 34 - PZP 37

e) The Lankmar Lycanthropes vs. Mann Co. Hippie Punchers @ The Dust Bowl
Coin Toss: Punchers win, will kick
Kickoff: Sniper kicks, Bender catches. In the next 25 yards, the following players are injured: Robin Hood, Jules, Strahd, Pinhead, Goku, and The Terminator. The Soldier is removed from play by the refs.
1st Quarter Synopsis: To replace injured and blackflaged players, the Lycans bring out Mr. Wizard, Inspector Gadget and Worf. The Hippie Punchers bring out Raistlin Majere, Engineer, and Marv. No one scores during the entire quarter, though the teams manage to injure one on each side again: Donatello (replaced by Ender) and Marv (replaced by the lifeless corpse of Benjamin Harrison).
2nd Quarter Synopsis: Finally gaining a foothold with his team, Mr. Wizard to three touchdowns via Animal and Daredevil. One two point conversion is successful, the other tries fail. Not to be outdone, The Engineer and Raistlin lead the Hippie Punchers through two touchdowns, a 1 point try, and manage to injure Bender, Mr. Wizard, and Worf. The Lycans are forced to not only bring their last two benchwarmers out, but Cookie Monster must play offense as well.
3rd Quarter Synopsis: After 1 successful block, the lifeless corpse is in pieces and removed from the field. It is given an honorable burial in the giant pit from the Kickoff Fiasco. Splinter replaces. Out of ammo, the Hippie Punchers manage not to injure any new players and the Lycans manage two more touchdowns but are too nervous to attempt serious tries and fail.
4th Quarter Synopsis: The Scout comes back strong with two touchdowns but is shut out of the endzone during tries and injured by a hyped up Cookie Monster. He is replaced by ALF, effectively ruining any chance of finishing the Hippie Punchers last quarter rally.

f) The Central City Coalition vs. City 17 Fighting Headcrabs @ The Citadel Coliseum
Coin Toss: Coalition wins, will receive.
Kickoff: Pyro kicks, Superman catches, laterals to The Flash, who touchdowns.
Entier Game Synopsis: Literally, this is back and forth. Every play is a touchdown and a successful try, back and forth. The defense of each team can't compete against the might of the offense.
RESULT: CCC 147 - FH 140

Last edited by Hooper; 12-10-2012 at 03:54 PM..
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Old 12-14-2012, 12:09 AM   #7
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Default Week 2 Heats - Dec 16

Week 2 Heats: December 16th, 2012
a) The Angel Grove Automatons vs. The Big Damn Browncoats @ Serenity Valley Stadium
Coin Toss: Browncoats win, will receive.
Kickoff: Ichigo kicks, Mysterio catches. Mysterio takes a long drive and scores. Try successful.
1st: Krueger injures Stark. the stars align correctly and Quarterback Cthulhu replaces Stark. Buffy defects to the Automatons after falling for Krueger. Ripster and Xenomorph injure Jon Snow who is replaced by Scruffy the Janitor. After all the back and forth, no additional points are scored this quarter.
2nd: Scruffy is immediately injured by Ripster, but comes back as Zombie Scruffy and continues to perform his duties. Shepard and Cthulhu size each other up in a series of 7 turnovers, followed by multiple touchdowns for both teams.
3rd: In a surprising move, Stan Lee replaces Kabuto. Combining their tactical might, the Automatons finally begin to make a dent in the Browncoats' lead and succesfully block Cthulhu's advances until Lee is killed in what may be a hate crime by Scruffy. Kabuto returns.
4th: Without another tactical aid, Shepard starts to lose ground to Cthulhu. In the final minutes, he actually breaks down and any hope for a last rally are lost.

b) The Guilder Bay Shrieking Eels vs. The Asgardian Aberrations @ The Guilder Bay Biodome
Coin Toss: Aberrations win, will kick.
Kickoff: Megaman kicks the entire length of the field to Marty McFly, who is almost immediately tackled by Aragorn for a safety but inexplicably manages to reappear ten yards in front of the end zone. Marty performs a lateral to Frodo, who finds an open line and keeps to it to score the first touchdown of the game.
1st: Christ sizes up the field and immedately begins exploiting the weaknesses of the Eels. Manages to land 3 pass plays to Aragorn that end in touchdowns. Gimli manages to block all tries, injuring Jesus in the third who is then replaced by Storm. Immediately after the Eels manage a 3rd and long running play with Frodo for a touchdown and succeed on their 2 point conversion.
2nd: Tyrion manages some legal rules lawyering and gets himself placed by Coach Columbo in place of Lancer. Gimli manages to injure Grodd, who is replaced by Wolverine. Wolverine is removed from play when he takes the ball from Barkley and runs an illegal touchdown since he is not an eligible carrier. Barkley is severly injured and replaced by Data, while Wolverine is replaced by Luigi. The Eels manage to make some strong gains during all this.
3rd: Aslan and Vash manage to injure Tyrion, but Aslan is also injured in the scuffle. Emperor Palpatine replaces Aslan, while Tyrion is replaced by a pissed off Lancer. A fake pass from Storm to Aragorn results in Tails getting a clear run for a 87 yard touchdown, but Aragorn yet has no relief since the Asgardians bench is empty.
4th: Without Aragorn and running on reserves, the Asgardians can not manage to score. With Bean in peak conditioning, the Eels manage to further their lead.
RESULT: GBS 39 - AA 24

c) The Alderaan MIA vs. The Enterprise Explorers @ The Memory Alpha Amphitheatre
Coin Toss: Explorers win, will receive.
Kickoff: Robocop kicks, Harry Potter catches, run most of the length before lateraling to MCClane. McClane scores. Conversion successful.
1st: Sonic manages two running touchdowns (tries unsuccessful) before being injured by Hong Kong Phooey. He is replaced by Scooby Doo. Winchester scores twice and McClane once. All conversion are successful.
2nd: To add insult to injury, this entire quarter is a shut out for the MIAs. Benoit kicks it off with a Do or Die play (he does both) and then Potter pulls a Deus Ex Machina play.
3rd: The MIAS attempt a rally, and do well initially. Captain and Luke both hit the endzone, but no tries are successful and their defense just can't hold back McClane and Winchester who each hit the zone multiple times.
4th: A repeat of the third quarter almost play by play.
RESULT: MIA 36 - EE 102

d) The Planet Zeist Phoenixes vs. The Requiem Spartans @ Seacouver Stadium
Coin Toss: Phoenixes win, will kick.
Kickoff: Lohan launches a fieldlong kick to Predator, who is tackled by Duncan and Spiderman at the RS 45.
1st: Drizzt keeps passing to Godzilla, who manages to create a strong lead until a concentrated effort lead by The Comedian injures Drizzt, Godzilla, and the Predator. The Comedian is replaced by Hellboy, while Michelangelo, Seto, and Rocksteady enter play respectively.
2nd: With major players out, the tide turns and Phoenixes rally and land 9 touchdowns. Legolas does manage to grab 2 more for the Spartans.
3rd: Connor is out for injuries in the first play, replaced by Dean Winchester. Legolas and LaRusso start strong with touchdowns but no trys. But Dean and Hellboy counter on their carries with kinks, resulting in two touchdowns as well. The rest of the quarter becomes a deadlock around the PZP 30.
4th: A repeat of the third quarter except LaRusso manages a second personal touchdown in the last few plays.
RESULT: PZP 81 - RS 64

e) The Mann Co. Hippie Punchers vs. The Central City Coalition @ Leawood Stadium
Coin Toss: Punchers win, will kick.
Kickoff: Sniper kicks, Superman catches. Superman is down. Medics are out. Looks like Jules grabbed some Kryptonite from a nearby glowing suitcase and stuffed the football. Superman is out. Replaced by Deadpool. Refs rule that supes took the knee in the endzone. Safety for the Punchers.
1st: Jules pulls Scout and Throttle and brings in Engineer and - surprisngly, Splinter. The Flash manages a touchdown but is taken out by the Engineer's sentry when he stops (replaced by James T. Kirk). Black Adam and Bizarro meet similar fates (though also score) (replaced by Leonardo and Venkman) but Sinestro catches on and takes out the Engineer (replaced by Scout). The Coalition is in a strong lead but down its main players at the end of the quarter.
2nd: Sinestro manages to take out the tactical genius Jules but while distracted is downed by Myers. Splinter takes over for Jules while Throttle returns, and Sinestro is replaced by Wonder Woman. The Green Lantern manages one final touchdown at the end of the quarter for a first half lead for the Coalition of 25 to 2.
3rd: All hell breaks loose. The Soldier is removed from play by the refs but not before decimating the CC 15 yard line area, and injuring Kirk and Iron Man who are replaced by Chucky and fucking no one because they're all dead. The Soldier is replaced by ALF. Splinter and the Scout begin a phenomenal running play game with 7 touchdowns and 3 conversions.
4th: With their team in shambles, the usually dominating Coalition is left defenseless while a geriatric rat and a kid from Boston rock their world.

f) City 17 Fighting Headcrabs vs. The Lankmar Lycantropes @ The Ballpark of Pleasure
Coin Toss: Headcrabs Win, will receive.
Kickoff: Conan kicks to Neo, taken down at the LL 20 by The Terminator.
1st: The Headcrabs land two touchdowns with successful conversions and the Lycans pull in Mr. Wizard. Though the crabs grab one more conversion-less touchdown, Mr. Wizard leads the Lycans to three touchdowns as well with all succesful tries.
2nd: For the majority of the quarter it plays out the exact same until on the ifnal try by the Lycans, Jaina sacks Mr. Wizard. The conversion fails and Mr. Wizard is replaced by Daredevil who started.
3rd/4th: Thrall is injured early on and replaced by Hulk Hogan. Without the tactical experience of Mr. Wizard, the Lycans do not land as many successful plays or block as much. The Headcrabs begin to pull away which continues into the 4th quarter which they then dominate.
RESULT: C17FH 76 - LL 41

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Old 12-20-2012, 11:32 PM   #8
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Default Week 3 - Conference Qualifiers

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Week 3 Conference Qualifiers: December 23rd, 2012
a) The Asgardian Aberrations vs. The Big Damn Browncoats @ The Singasteinn Superdome
Coin Toss: Aberrations win, will kick
Kickoff: Megaman shoots long, Mysterio catches, downed by Aragorn on Browncoats 8YL.
1st Half: The Aberrations start strong with a blitz safety and a strong running game, but Ned Stark rallies his team to come back strong. With minutes left in the first half and a tied score, Ned is injured and fumbles the ball but Grodd continues beating him and is disinterested in the ball. Grodd is flaged and replaced by Wolverine. Jaimee Lannister replaces Ned and performs the hand off to Mysterio who performs a long touchdown while Wolverine is busy taking out Mr. Fantastic. Fantastic is replaced by Rick Grimes, and the try fails.
2nd Half: Trailing slightly, Jesus begins to pummel pass plays downfield resulting in an amazing third quarter. The Browncoats have trouble keeping up as Rick is looking for Carl. Their advance is cut off when Neil begins to call Jesus' shots and Jesus is sacked and replaced by Data. The Browncoats manage to rally slightly early in the fourth with Rick back and Wolverine flagged for things we can't mention that he did to Buffy (who voluntarily left to be with him). Wolvy is replaced by Palpatine and Buffy is replaced by Ellen Ripley. Ellen immediately redeems women everywhere with a touchdown bringing the score to a standstill tie with seconds left. Data manages an amazingly intricute series of lateral passes that give Barkley the ball for a game-ending Chaos Dunk.
RESULT: AA 37 - BDB 31

b) The Enterprise Explorers vs. The Requiem Spartans @ The Ivanhoff Memorial Complex
Coin Toss: Spartans win, will receive
Kickoff: Sobchak kicks to Predator who immediately drives home the first touchdown of the game.
1st Half: The first quarter is dominated by the Spartans who continously land pass plays to Predator, but eventually Sam tips off Hong Kong Phooey who duels Predator. Many other Predators show up and commend Hong Kong Phooey for his victory, leaving him with a Predator cloaking device. The second quarter finds a much more concerned Spartans playing a very nervous passing game as an invisible Hong Kong Phooey slowly tracks and murders them. If the refs could see what he was doing, he would be flaged. But they can't. The spartans still hold a slight lead by halftime, but their lineup now consists of QB Rocksteady, RBs Palin and LaRusso, WRs Legolas and Michelangelo, F Jessi Slaughter, and TE The Goonies.
2nd Half: Finally using his Elf Eyes, Legolas spots and manages to deactivate Hong Kong Phooey's armor. Hong Kong, unaware he can be seen, brutally attacks one of The Goonies and is immediately removed from play - Only to be replaced by Spawn. The Goonies never die and are fine. With most of their team down and only a few skilled individuals left, the half becomes a slow rally for the Explorers.
RESULT: EE 39 - RS 23

c) The Central City Coalition vs. The Lankmar Lycanthropes @ The Ballpark of Pleasure
Coin Toss: Lycans win, will receive
Kickoff: Iron Man launches to Bender, who could easily lateral to Animal for a kickoff return touchdown but refuses to give up the ball and is taken down by Black Manta at the LL 45.
Synopsis: The Lycans stick to a simple yet effective game with Mr. Wizard relieving Daredevil and relying heavily on Animal while Black Manta can not keep up. Conversely, The Cookie Monster is all but useless against the offensive might of the Coalition. We end up watching a game of constant touchdowns, with the DST of each team eventually being injured and slowly replaced by a benchwarmer. This is constant the entire game except a few key moments: Goku ruins a perfect chance for a touchdown while not paying attention to the clock; Superman is injured by Green Lantern's new green suit made of Kryptonite which Mr. Wizard snuck to him at half time; Iron Man and Sinestro are both removed from play for illegal carrying and fighting. It is these final losses that allow the Lycans to narrowly win the day.
RESULT: CCC 87 - LL 103

a) City 17 Fighting Headcrabs vs. The Mann Co. Hippie Punchers @ The Citadel Coliseum
Coin Toss: Headcrabs win, will kick
Kickoff: Pyro launches to Michael Myers, who only realizes he caught a flare and not a football about the time it goes off.
1st-3rd: A pissed off Myers destroys Gandalf (they are replaced respectively by Marv and John Carter). For the next 47 plays (which gets well into the third quarter), no one scores. The Headcrabs at least appear to be trying to score. The Hippie Punchers may have stumbled onto the gridiron only seeing the "sudden death overtime" sign and thinking it was time to party. This finally comes to a head with 3 minutes left in the 3rd quarter, when John Carter and Soldier get into a leaping-esque pissing contest and land on Jules, who yells at them to jump one more god damn time and they both do. Its hard to make out the exact order of events after that, at least until the National Guard's report is finished, but we do know that at the end of the 3rd quarter the Headcrabs have managed 2 points via a safety during the brawl and that the spillover from the benches and sidelines leave both teams with just two players. The Headcrabs put Marvin White on offense while King Arthur takes over defense, and the Hippie Punchers put Splinter on defense and ALF on offense.
4th: This is the saddest quarter in the history of football.

b) The Planet Zeist Phoenixes vs. The Alderaan MIA @ The Graveyard Astrodome
Coin Toss: Phoenixes win, will kick
Kickoff: Lohan launches the entire length of the field to Sonic, who immediately scores.
1st Half: With the speed and reflex that Sonic holds, the MIA take a lead and maintain it until The Comedian ends the "sonic problem." Shredder replaces The Comedian, while Sonic is replaced by Scooby Doo. Connor manages to close the gap of their lead towards half with successful touchdowns to Spidey and Bourne.
2nd Half: Bourne forgets everything and has to be replaced by Hellboy. Vader injures Nightcrawler who is replaced by Dean Winchester. When Blade gets a penalty, his teammate Robocop takes him out for violating the rules. They are replaced by Beavis and Mulder. The Phoenixes manage an amazing series of interceptions and touchdowns when Hellboy goes full Devil followed by Dean driving his car and finally Shredder going Super Shredder. The final play is Riddick telling bad one-liners to Coach Leia about how he is headed to the Underverse and can help the MIAs find their home again. Distracted, the Phoenixes squeak out a victory.

c) The Angel Grove Automatons vs. The Guilder Bay Shrieking Eels @ The Juice & Gym Gymnasium
Coin Toss: Automatons win, will receive
Kickoff: Kimberly kicks to Ash who has to catch them all, who manages to avoid Frodo's tackle only to be taken down at the Eels 25YL by Bean.
1st Half: Unfortunately, his luck runs out when Bean is taken out by Japanese Spiderman in his weakest stat form in the first quarter to be replaced by Mario. The Automatons partake in a series of strong passing plays landing some points before Gimli takes out Megatron (probably took his allspark as a new precious. I don't really want to speculate on how he did it or else Bay might read it and make a damn movie about it). A Xenomorph replaces Megatron and manages revenge easily, and Gimli is replaced by Rita Repulsa. Rita and Tommy Oliver are old friends (from his "Green Period" of experimentation in school), and know each other well. The rest of the half becomes a stalemate.
2nd Half: Mario tweaks out to grab a touchdown quick and put the Eels in the lead, which begins what looks to be a good rally until fortune turns on them as Kabuto becomes a power player. The defense just can't seem to nail him down. It is a good thing as well because he gives the Automatons just enough of a lead that when Shepard loses his shit in the last few minutes the Eels can only rally so much of it back.

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Old 12-29-2012, 03:18 AM   #9
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Default Week 4 - Gygax Conference Championships

a) The Asgardian Aberrations vs. The Enterprise Explorers @ The Singasteinn Superdome
Toss: Explorers win, will receive.
Kickoff: Megaman launches, Potter catches, Grodd tackles at the EE 22YL
1st: Grodd prevents any forward movement the Explorers attempt until, at 4th and long, Potter pulls the Deus ex Machina and manages a touchdown. Enraged, Grodd brutally shows Potter a muggle variant of the Cruciatus Curse and is removed by the refs, and manages to ignore the play itself so the try succeeds. Potter is removed by Death. Wolverine replaces Grodd while Raphael comes in for Potter. Over the next few place, and intense hatred builds up between Raphael and Wolverine, eventually exploding in the final moments of the quarter Raphael is in possession. He manages to injure Wolverine, who recovers instantly while Raphael is unaware and creates some turtle soup. This causes a fumble which Wolverine recovers and manages to run to the EE 4 before - Holy fucking shit, Benoit. Just, Benoit. This guy has issues. You think Logan is fucked up? Spend a weekend at the Benoit house. Benoit comes at Wolvy with such ferocity even he is confused, but he manages to headbut him so hard that Logan loses his memory and isn't aware of what he should be doing. Benoit succeeds on the reverse fumble, passing out after a 96 yard drive. With a confused Wolverine still in play, the Explorers manage a two point conversion.
2nd: Coach Heimdall pulls Wolverine and replaces him with Storm. Jesus manages two successful long passes to Aragon for touchdowns during this quarter but is blocked by Hong Kong Phooey more often than not, while the third string defense of the Aberrations can't hold back the onslaught of McClane and Captain America. The Explorers pull far ahead but tragedy strikes near the end of the half when Storm teaches Hong Kong Phooey what happens when a dog is struck by lightning (for at-home viewers, read: the same thing that happens to everything else). Spawn replaces Phooey, but can't catch Aragon who manages a long third touchdown for the quarter.
3rd: With weak defenses on both sides, the teams begin to increase their score but the spread itself remains relatively the same. The quarter is relatively uneventful.
4th: In a surprising start, Morpheus and Aragorn manage to injure McClane and Winchester, severly harming the Explorer's lineup. Indiana Jones and Tyler Durden replace them, but can't perform as well because Jones has horrible 4th quarters and Durden can never catch the pass plays because he is actually the one throwing them. The Aberrations take advantage and begin to rally, though the Explorers still manage a touchdown with Captain America - bringing the score to a dead even with 12 seconds to play. In a surprising move, the Aberrations bring out their kicker Megaman who launches a perfect field goal.
RESULT: AA 62 - EE 59

b) The Asgardian Aberrations vs The Lankmar Lycanthropes @ The Ballpark of Pleasure
Toss: Lycans win, will receive.
Kickoff: Megaman kicks, Bender catches, is decimated by Grodd. Safety Aberrations.
1st: Jesus Christ (the expression, not the quarterback) - what a one-sided affair this is. Almost as if he is just showing off, Jesus lands a touchdown with every legal carrier on his team before the quarter ends. Grodd holds the Lycans at bay until finally a pissed off Terminator takes him out with a sacrifice play, allowing Animal to get the first score of the game for the team.
2nd: Wolverine replaces Grodd while Worf comes in for the Terminator and Mr. Wizard takes over for Daredevil. With the field support of Mr. Wizard, he convinces the coach to replace Cookie Monster with - what, Peter Gibbons? Okay. Lets just see. Oh, and now we know why. A carefree Gibbons just took out Jesus because he said he needed a case f the Sundays. Data replaces him, but Gibbons pulls a portable electric screwdriver and messes with Data's wiring. Gibbons is removed for this illegal action (Worf steps in), and Data is temporarily replaced by Ricky Bobby while his teammates attempt to reconfigure him. Animal manages two touchdowns before Wolverine snaps and confuses the furry creature for his old brother. What happens next can't be discussed in front of all audiences, and we have to cut to commercial for the half.
3rd: When we come back, Wolverine and Animal are no where to be seen though 25 square yards of the field seem to be covered in blood. Luigi and Daredevil seem to be in their place. With bad defense, the Lycans begin to close the gap the Aberrations created initially. However, Worf can't keep Aragorn at bay who manages to finally get a touchdown at the end of the quarter when Data returns and the inept Luigi goes back to the bench.
4th: The first half of this quarter shows the tactical might of Data and Mr. Wizard, with each team scoring and succeeding on conversions over and over. Then, in consecutive possessions, both are injured. Luigi comes back in while Ender Wiggins comes into play. Ender manages to land a touchdown via Goku and the try suceeds, bringing the score to a dead tie. Worf finally manages to prevent Aragon from getting around him, seriously injuring him and causing a fumble which gives the possession back to the Lycans. After a team huddle, and in a surprising move, on a fourth down Ender passes to Goku who seems to run directly purposely off field into the Asgardian sidelines. In the confusion, Megaman is seriously injured while on the bench. Palpatine, also on the bench, convinces the refs that it was on purpose and the play is reversed, resulting in possesion returning to the Aberrations. At first the coach calls for a tie-breaking field goal, but realizes Megaman is injured. Relying on third-string players mostly, the ball is given to one of the few starters left: Barkley. With the aid of Morpheus, Barkley manages to land a Chaos Dunk during the buzzer to give the Aberrations the conference title.
RESULT: AA 95 - LL 89

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Old 12-29-2012, 04:31 AM   #10
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Default Week 4 - Arneson Conference Championships

a) The City 17 Fighting Headcrabs vs. The Planet Zeist Phoenixes @ Seacouver Stadium
Toss: Headcrabs win, will receive.
Kickoff: Lohan kicks, Neo catches, avoids being taken down until the HC 40YL by Optimus Prime.
1st: Demoman manages to launch three successful touchdowns to Neo, who manages to avoid Optimus Prime. Gandalf holds back the Phoenixes mostly, other than a play where Nightcrawler managed to teleport around him for a touchdown. In the final bits of the quarter, The Comedian gets tired of this shit and takes the old man out, allowing another touchdown by Spider-man. Gandalf is replaced by Hulk Hogan, while The Comedian is removed from play and replaced by Optimus Prime, while Hellboy takes over Prime's previous defense duties.
2nd: Though Batman manages to find himself open in nearly every play, Demoman doesn't realize it until well into the quarter. Once he does, he begins a quick series of successful scoring via Batman during the team's possessions. Meanwhile, Spiderman, Bourne, and Duncan each land a touchdown themselves for their team. No tries are successful for either team. Tired of Batman's shit, Hellboy goes beastmode and takes out Batman (by breaking his back) and Demoman (by breaking his spirit [and his back]).
3rd: Bond, back from a quarter with a cheerleader, replaces Demoman while John Carter replaces Batman. Dean Winchester comes in for Hellboy. Carter manages two touchdowns, but the tide turns as the Phoenixes steamroll over Hogan.
4th: Bond leaves with a cheerleader and is replaced by Marvin White, who is immediately ran over by Dean Winchester who carries the fumble for a touchdown. Marvin is replaced by King Arthur, and Dean by Madea. The spy manages two running plays but the clock runs out before the headcrabs can rally back fully.
RESULT: C17FHC 57 - PZP 64

b) The Planet Zeist Phoenixes vs The Angel Grove Automatons @ The Juice & Gym Gymnasium
Toss: Phoenixes win, will receive.
Kickoff: Ichigo kicks, Spiderman catches, avoids Japanese Spiderman and manages a return touchdown.
1st: Optimus Prime is able to just barely stop the Automatons, causing a turnover on a fourth down. Japanese Spiderman is not able to prevent the Phoenixes at first. Finally, he brings in his gun and giant robot and takes out Duncan MacLeod. Duncan is replaced by Hellboy, while Japanese Spiderman is removed from play and replaced by Xenomorph. Towards the end of the quarter, Megatron and Optimus Prime begin to settle their own personal score right in the middle of the field. Both manage to seriously injure each other, while Optimus' preoccupation with Megatron allows the Automatons to score. Dean Winchester replaces Optimus and the Ultimate Warrior replaces Megatron.
2nd: A healed Duncan re-enters play. The Xenomorph manages to injure Connor, who is replaced by Madea. This allows Stan Lee to fight back and close the gap while the tactical might behind the Phoenixes is incapacitated.
3rd: A healed Connor reenters play with the score tied. Dean Winchester runs over and sacks Lee, causing a fumble and gaining possession. Lee is replaced by Krueger, who personally removes himself after one play because its fucking hard to throw a ball with scissorhands. Ripster comes in. The Ultimate Warrior manages to score but is so fatigured afterwards that he has to rest, bringing Romney in as a replacement. Most of the quarter is owned by Connor who lands multiple touchdowns to Duncan and Spiderman. He would have landed one to The Comedian but The Comedian was too busy awkwardly assaulting Rainbow Dash. The Comedian is removed from play, replaced by Shredder. Kabuto becomes a power house for the Automatons, landing three touchdowns.
4th: After a brief timeout, Bulk moves Oliver to Quarterback. Oliver's tactical skills finally seem to stem the advantage of Connor, and he is able to rely on the amazing late bloomer Kabuto to land guaranteed scores every possession. However, the Automatons defense can not stop the Phoenixes from doing the same. The quarter becomes a back and forth situation of successful possessions. With a few minutes left, and the score nearly tied, Shredder goes Super Shredder and takes out Oliver while Duncan scores. Ash comes into play, but Kabuto steals the show goes for a running play to try to rally but is ruined by his own teammate when Shepard falls apart and fails to block, opening up Kabuto from multiple sides. Kabuto is injured and fumbles, allowing Dean to carry the final score of the game.
RESULT: PZP 103 - AGA 95
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Old 12-29-2012, 04:41 AM   #11
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Default Week 5 - Oggie Bowl Season Championship


The Asgardian Aberrations take on the Planet Zeist Phoenixes

Neutral Host Site: Gondor Gridiron

Pre-Game Commentary: This promises to be a matchup of talented giants when the Aberrations (4-1) meet the Phoenixes (5-0). This season the Aberrations have relied strongly on a very serious Defense and the amazing skills of Aragorn, while the Phoenixes have had a good array of talented receivers and a smart quarterback. Will Aragorn perform even better on his home turf? Will Grodd still attack someone and be removed, or hold it in and help support his team for longer? Will The Comedian finally learn to be a team player?Tune in next week to find out.

Coin Toss: Phoenixes win, will receive.
Kick Off: Megaman launches long, Spiderman catches, taken down by Aragorn at PZP35YL.
1st Quarter: The first quarter is a shut out as the Phoenixes try and fail to get around Grodd's defenses while the Aberrations rely on Aragorn who manages to bypass Optimus Prime consistently. Finally towards the end of the quarter Connor manages to realize Grodd's weakness and taunts him into ignoring the play and coming after him. Grodd brutally beats Connor to death and is removed from play, but Connor comes back to life for the next quarter. Though this removes the biggest roadblock to an even game, it comes extremely late as the Aberrations have pulled far ahead in the first quarter.
2nd Quarter: In a brutal first play, Wolverine correctly (we assume - he was probably just seeing if it would work) takes out Connor and Duncan by beheading. Though he is removed from play afterwards, and the distraction allowed the Phoenixes to score, it decimates their offensive team. Storm replaces Wolverine while the Phoenixes bring out Hellboy and Shredder. The lessened defensive effectiveness of both sides results in more scoring, with Aragorn consistently leading the running game while Spiderman and Jason Bourne tag off. The Comedian attempts to solve the team's troubles by taking out Aragorn, but learns that he will suffer his running game. The Comedian is injured and replaced by Dean Winchester, while Aragorn is only slightly injured but carries on.
3rd Quarter: Through an amazing lateral play, Jesus passes to Aragorn - who while slightly injured, decides its best to lateral to Barkley who laterals to Aslan who begisn taking over the running game for the Aberrations. Throughout the quarter, to make matters worse, Storm manages to injure out Hellboy, Shredder, Spiderman, and Bourne - who are replaced by Rocky Douglas, Madea, Zatch, and Optimus Prime is forced to play offense as well as the bench is empty.
4th Quarter: Outside a couple last ditch efforts to rally by Dean, the Phoenixes can't close the gap. Riddick and Dean do manage to take out Jesus and Aslan in the final moments, but its too late to turn the tide.


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Old 01-05-2013, 03:19 AM   #12
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1. Oggie Bowl MVP: Wolverine
2. League MVP: TIE: Soldier / Aragorn
3. Owner of the Year: Lacey Wilson
4. Play of the Year: WK3 GM4 C17FH vs MCHP "Jump One More Time"
5. Best League Name: The Alderaan MIA
6. Best League Logo: Mann Co. Hippie Punchers

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